Modesty & Christian Life

Lately there have been a few posts on some popular news outlets and blogs about “modesty”. Some conservative, calling on women to “help their Christian brother’s” by dressing in modest, Christ-pleasing ways. Some a bit more “progressive”, putting the responsibility for men’s “stumbling and impure thoughts” squarely where they belong … on the men who think them. And some just trying to make sense of what Jesus calls Christian’s – men and women both – to in terms of appearance. Congressmen in Montana aside, the issue of modesty (Christian or otherwise) has long been debated and answers, much less the culture shift I believe is needed, are slow in coming.

I will admit that some of the more conservative posts and articles have had me seeing red, but as I strive to discern what Jesus calls Christians to I realize this issue has a long and complicated history and like many polarizing issues, is fraught with deeply held convictions and a bit of fear and loathing. So why am I writing about this? Partly because I’m frustrated with one conservative blogger’s avoidance and partly because the more research I did, the more I felt this issue isn’t merely a Christian issue … unfortunately it extends far beyond than that.

Let me say, I moderate the comments on my blog. People are all over the spectrum on this issue. Here is why I moderate. I’m not serious enough or well-known enough (aka well followed or followed at all) for real people to actually comment on my posts. Currently, I get the spam comments from bots, you know, the ones that promise ‘male enhancement’ or ‘stronger hair and nails’. Truly nothing I want appearing on my blog. So I choose to moderate my comments, hoping against hope that someday someone real will actually comment on something I’ve written. If there ever is a real, honest comment I will quickly and excitedly approve it, regardless of how I feel about it personally because to me one of the goals of a blog is to engage. It will be an amazing day … the day I get a real person commenting on something I’ve shared here.

So, back to my topic. The blog post that kicked this whole thing off lives here. The first comment I wrote was not approved (hence the talk about moderated comments) until I wrote a second comment asking why my first comment wasn’t being approved. Within 5 minutes of my second comment, the first was approved. A portion of my comment appears below and you can read the full comment (along with some other interesting thoughts) here (mine is the 2nd comment on page 2).

In your post you mention “The truth is, we don’t need to see something that was meant to be shared with someone the context of marriage…” and I agree with you! So to this point I ask, shouldn’t that include the male torso? When you go swimming, Jarrid, do you wear a swim shirt and modest swim trunks? When you join a pickup basketball game at the gym, do you strip that shirt off when you get hot?

Does knowing (and prayerfully considering) this fact change the way you plan dress for the gym, beach, or pool? Does it alter what you will tell the young men in your church about dressing modestly?

How many of the men who have commented in wholehearted agreement to this post appear shirtless in public? Would these men be willing to alter their attire to a more Christ-pleasing, modest style now that they know their naked torsos are stumbling blocks for their sisters in Christ? I wonder.

As you can see I ask the blogger several questions, to which he gives this answer:

“Totally see where you’re coming from. And yeah, I definitely agree that men need to be careful too.”

To say I was underwhelmed by this response would be the understatement of the century. Needless to say, I wrote a follow-up reply on 1/31, which as of today, still has not appeared in the comments section of the post. Either the author deleted it or is leaving it in moderation limbo. Before you say “maybe he’s been out of town” I honestly don’t believe that to be the case, though in all fairness I suppose that might be a possibility.

In my heart, I believe he doesn’t want to approve my comment because he doesn’t agree and doesn’t want to say so on his blog – he believes that the responsibility for modesty falls squarely on the shoulders of women, despite all his “…men need to be careful too” lip service. He doesn’t want to engage in thoughtful, Christ-centered debate … debate that might illuminate and provide true Christian growth. He want’s to be read, followed, and perhaps quoted.

Unfortunately, I didn’t copy the follow-up comment before I hit submit. If he doesn’t approve it, it will never be seen again. Basically, the gist was, “Why didn’t you answer the question, ‘Do you appear in public (at the gym, lake, or pool) with a bare torso?’. If you do, will you be adopting a more modest, Christ-pleasing dress since you now know the bare torso is a stumbling block for your sisters in Christ?”

I can only assume (it is impossible to know for sure since he won’t answer) he thinks men appearing in public with bare torsos isn’t an issue of modesty and more generally the responsibility for modesty lies with women. I suspect that e disregards the fact that it makes his fellow sister’s in Christ stumble is, “our problem” because he doesn’t want to have to alter his swim or gym wear.

If I’m honest, he is entitled to have these beliefs, but having them makes his railing about “painting a new standard” look silly and chauvinistic since he clearly doesn’t hold men to the same standards he does women. Add this to the fact that he is a “Christian leader” (a person others follow, believe, and rely on) and you might begin to see the danger. What is the danger?, you ask? Here is the crux…

Our society is staggering under a pervasive and sneaky gender bias (against women). Don’t believe me? I hope you will read on, dear friend.

Society has forever been calling on women to “dress modestly”, placing all the responsibility for appearing modest and making sure men don’t stumble on our shoulders. Both men and women (yes, we do this to ourselves) perpetuate gender bias. I would like to direct you to the fruits of my research surrounding modesty and its role in perpetuating gender bias:

There are literally hundreds of articles on popular Christian sites (modesty articles) and blogs across the web that, by in large, all focus on the responsibility of women when it comes to “modesty”. A Google image search on the phrase “modesty of dress” reveals hundreds of images … all of women. Even celebrities have begun addressing the disparity between how women and men are treated while walking the red carpet, one notable example by Cate Blanchette. Even the dictionary is complicit in gender bias as illustrated by two of the top three definitions of modesty, which portray gender negative illustrations (women be modest in dress, men be modest in your achievements).

modesty forbade HER ...
With typical modesty HE insisted...

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

And we wonder why so many women have self-esteem issues, suffer from body-dysmorphic disorder, or fail to report being raped – I believe it’s a direct result of the gender biased, “women are responsible” culture so pervasive today; that somehow women are responsible if men think impure thoughts or take improper actions when seeing women they perceive as immodestly dressed. For me, it begs the question, “In what other area do we place the burden of our purity on another person?”, instead of where it belongs with ourselves.

I will confess, it all makes me crazy because I don’t believe that dressing modestly or helping our fellow man avoid stumbling should be the province of women – it should be the province of everyone. As Christians, we are called (men and women alike) to model Christ-like behavior and I, for one, would love to see a shift in how this issue is portrayed to Christians before another generation of Christian women and men are tainted by the idea that it is women who are responsible for modesty.

How can we possibly begin to dismantle such a systemic gender bias surrounding modesty? It seems daunting when I think about it, but as with most things, it happens in small increments … with a myriad of small steps, one right after another. After all, Rome wasn’t built in a day and we have no reason to expect something so pervasive as gender bias would be easily dismantled either, but it’s worth the work … for ourselves and all the women who come after.

Spring Forward…

In a few short weekends Daylight Saving Time and the dread “Spring Forward” returns. That day when an hour of our day is taken from us, not coincidentally mind you, while we are asleep. Something like 2 am is the official time to move your clocks forward one hour. We go to sleep in one world and awake in another, often late for church, brunch, or other Sunday activities. I awake with a sadness that my day is one hour shorter and find myself watching the clock and silently cursing the evil DST.

I’ve read a lot on the origins of DST. One theory holds that it was a joke by Benjamin Franklin – one he never meant be adopted. Regardless of the original intent, Daylight Saving Time (no ‘s’ on the end of saving) or Summer Time as it is known outside the US has become a part of our lives but that doesn’t mean I have to like it.

Yes, the logical part of me knows spring forward means it will be light when I get home at night and as we move toward summer and our relationship to the sun changes, it will be light later and later. When I was a kid I will confess I LOVED this. I remember playing outside until late in the evening and it was still light; that beautiful summer, 9 pm “dusk” sort of light. To the young Christine it was glorious but the “old” Christine views it through a different lens.

Interested in learning more about DST?

I did receive some interesting news today out of Olympia, WA. Apparently, there are some lawmakers who would like Washington to cease springing forward and falling back (read the article). If adopted, Washington would join Arizona and Hawaii (currently the only two states that don’t observe DST) in year-round standard time. This taxpayer would embrace such a change. Until that blessed day, I will just have to grumble my way through “spring forward” (coming up on March 8th this year) and hope that the “wonder of late night dusk” magically transports me back to that time when play was outside, seat belt’s were optional, and bicycles were ridden without a helmet. Yes, the “good ole days” when you were kicked out of the house after breakfast, to play in the neighborhood all day long….

No is a Complete Sentence

Typically I am not a fan of the “New Year’s Resolution” (NYR) having, over the past three decades, tried to make (and keep) a dizzying array of them with very little success.

A friend posted a link to this article by Sydney McBride on her Facebook wall and when I read it, thought, “Surely I could try to accomplish one or two of these in 2015.” After all there are 365 days…

Fifteen, given my NYR track record, is far too many, but as I read the article three (4,5, & 8) seemed to form a theme that resonated with me: “Get off your butt (stop waiting and doubting) and get out of your own way.” This is something I’ve long wanted to to do. I have dreams, ideas, and plans. Perhaps 2015 could be the year that I move one (or more) of those things forward. I want to try.

The last one from the article that really resonated with me was number 12, “Stop saying yes all the time” and it’s the inspiration for the title of this post. Sometimes the simplest things are the hardest to remember. I want to let my “no” stand alone, without some explanation that (in all honestly) is born out of my guilt at having said no in the first place. Typically, I end up saying yes by the time my explanation is over. This needs to stop. I need to let my no stand alone, without some guilt-driven excuse hanging all over it.

“Just like the lens of a camera, you have the power to adjust your vision. And, even on the darkness days, where you can’t see anything, just keep moving forward. It’s the only constant and forever the direction in which we all must go.” -Sydney McBride

So, I’m adjusting my vision. I’m ready to step out and pursue a dream and to say no sometimes. I don’t know how successful I will be but I am looking forward to the journey.

Art-Venture Adventure (part 1)

During the past 18 months Prima Marketing appeared on my radar as a “new” company. No, they aren’t new, at least not T H A T new but I hadn’t really noticed them before. Perhaps it is because I’m not a “scrapbooker” (I’ve never made an album or a page layout), or maybe it’s because I focused for so long on Tim Holtz, who is an amazing source of creative inspiration to many of us.

Whatever the reason, the first Prima product I remember buying was a stencil. A retired stencil at that. Retirement = a chance to dust off your Internet searching skills. I’d used it in a class and fell in love with it. I searched and searched online and finally found it on eBay.

Prima has orchestrated a huge marketing campaign over the course of 2014, rolling out new and expanding existing programs. One new program is the Prima Brand Ambassador group, of which I am a member another is the Art-Venture 2-day art event. The first Art-Venture was held last January in Anaheim and the class pictures coming out of the event were stunning.

As a treat to myself I decided, mostly on a whim, to sign up for the 2nd event on January 5 – 8 in Anaheim, CA. I’d considered trying to combine attendance at my bucket list event, CHA, which begins on January 10th but, alas, work calls me home. CHA will have to wait for another year.

There are six workshops during the two-day event taught by an exciting array of international educators:

Below is a snapshot of the six projects I will get to create while I’m at Art-Venture in Anaheim. I can’t believe I fly in 5 short days! I will of course blog about my experiences at this amazing event when I return – so stay tuned!

ArtVentureProjects

Tales of a Prima Brand Ambassador

When I decided to become a Prima Brand Ambassador I wasn’t sure exactly what to expect. I was thrilled at the opportunity to teach as well as being “paid” for my work in Prima product.

Each month I visit the local Hobby Lobby stores in my territory and demo/help customers to create a simple craft project that features the Prima products the store carries. The project changes every 5 to 6 weeks and Prima sends me most of the necessary supplies.

This is my second month working with the Federal Way and Seattle Hobby Lobby managers and employees to educate their customers about Prima products and all you can create using them. During the first month we made purse/backpack fobs and this month we made ornaments and gift tags since it’s Christmastime.

People have enjoyed the events and I’ve had a chance to teach some wonderful people, sharing my love of crafting with them. A true blessing. I have had so much fun each time I’ve gone to teach and the employees and managers are so kind and welcoming! I am grateful to have two great stores in my territory.

I also demo at my favorite LSS (local scrapbook store), Urban Scrapbooker. My first demo there is, coincidentally, my last of 2014 this coming Saturday, 12/20. If you read this blog and live in metro Seattle, I would love for you to come by and make a tag. I will be there from 11:30a – 2:30p.

Here are a few photos of the make-and-takes/demos I’ve done – I hope you enjoy them. Check back here in 2015 for my continuing adventures as a Prima Brand Ambassador.

The Blessings of SAMBICA

A lot of my life is consumed (in a good way) with my job. I’m blessed … I work at a summer camp. I get paid to wrap vans, design banners, and buy candy and treats for Sam’s Place, the camp store. That is not to say that there aren’t challenges. SAMBICA is 95 years old and with all that history comes “character”. Most of the buildings on campus possess this “character” which is a polite way of saying oddly built and in need of repair.

On the whole, it’s wonderful though. A place where the laughter of children is the noise I hear. Where singing silly camp songs is normal and the noise level at lunch rivals that of a sports stadium. This past summer was no exception. I’ve been here for 5 years and in that time I’ve seen over 10,000 kids come and go. It’s been a time of change and of renewal. Through it all, one thing is steady … loving kids.

New this year are quarterly events for elementary, middle, and high school campers. We’ve been having a blast with middle school bashes, kids night out, refuge, and break camps. It is wonderful to see the kids running around camp singing and laughing in the middle of winter. Christmas Carnival kicks off in a few days and over the four days it’s open, we will see hundreds of families visit Santa at SAMBICA. There is loads going on around camp and of course there are only 200 days until the first day of summer camp! It’s a wonderful time to be at SAMBICA.

As I move into my 6th year and closer to our centennial anniversary I find myself excited for what is coming. It’s a wonderful journey, one I get to take with wonderful coworkers and friends. As I said, I am blessed.

I’ve Come to Realize…

One of the things that drew me to the Pacific NW back in 2001 was the “creative scene” here. Many creative outlets (glass blowing, woodworking, pottery, painting, mixed media, and crafting) all have significant presences here. I’m a mixed media artist which is simply a swanky way of saying crafter and I loved that there were so many shops that sold gel mediums, stamps, paints, stencils, inks, and paper here. In the heyday, before the events of 2008, the Pacific NW was flush with these wonderful little havens of creativity.

I can remember participating in the NW Paperchase in 2008 and driving from Bellingham down to Centralia, visiting many of these wonderful locations. Sadly, 6 years later the majority of these shops are closed. It is a truly sad day and it’s partly my fault.

In September we lost the Scrapbook Nook down in Kent and [12/3 UPDATE] on Monday I learned that the Mad Scrapper in Issaquah is closing on December 21st. After 17 years they lost their lease and could not find another place to move. Once home to many local shops, the area is reduced to a scant handful. It’s a sad, sad day.

I have always said that shopping locally is important and I believe it … but I don’t always practice it. Herein lies the issue. How can the local store stay open, much less compete, with the big-box stores and online warehouses if we don’t shop there? Don’t get me wrong, I know the online warehouse is often a small company, but they aren’t local to me so when I shop with them instead of locally I hurt the local shop owner.

I have two reasons for my disloyalty: variety & price.

Let’s look at variety first. The local shop owner has to decide what to carry because they can’t afford to carry everything. This affects my ability to find that “must-have” thing and frequently drives me online.

As for price, the local shop owner isn’t buying 1,000 of something. They buy in smaller lots and so the cost is higher. The big-box stores also have mechanisms for marketing, workforce, etc that the local shop owner doesn’t. I often struggle to justify paying retail for high dollar items when the big-box and online warehouses (Hobby Lobby, Blitsy, Amazon, eBay, etc) are selling the same items for much less.

The largest benefit of the local store is in community and learning. The big-box stores may offer classes, but the curriculum is always very basic – so it appeals to the widest audience. The local store is the place to grow creatively. This is their place to shine and certainly to prove that they have a place in our shopping staples.

The local store owners need my patronage and loyalty. I am happy to be able to support Impress and Urban Scrapbooker and enjoy taking classes and filling up my creativity tank at these wonderful stores as often as I can.

Back to Bootcamp with Jen Starr

A few weeks ago I decided it was time for me to jumpstart my creativity with a trip back to “bootcamp”. No, I’ve never been in the military, but over the years I’ve had a few opportunities to participate in a learning intensive, lovingly called bootcamp.

This 4-part bootcamp (Paint Bootcamp, Colorful Effects Bootcamp, Stencil Bootcamp and Inka Gold Canvas) focused mostly on background techniques, but the final class we created a 6 x 12 canvas, on which we were encouraged to use what we’d learned during the last day and a half.

Our teacher, Jen Starr, was visiting the PNW from New Jersey. Jen is on the design teams for Art Anthology, Viva, Ranger, and Copic.

  1. Paint: the dread color theory, including creating our own color wheel and understanding how to avoid ending up with mud when you mix colors.
  2. Colorful Effects: Using salt, Vaseline, molding paste, and other fun stuff to add dimension and interest to your backgrounds.
  3. Stencil: Further work focusing on different ways to incorporate stencils into your backgrounds.

I had a great, albeit, exhausting experience and met some neat ladies (Dale my table mate is a very talented artist). Below are some of the things I created at bootcamp.

It’s National Scrapbook Day

To be honest, with the exception of a few paperbag albums and some Smash journals I have never made a scrapbook. Even the paperbag albums I’ve made never had photos added to them. They sit, safely packed away in a box. What can I say, I’m not a scrapbooker.

Why then, you might ask am I entering challenges and giveaways on this, National Scrapbook Day? The answer is simple, really. Scrabookers have the best goodies … goodies that I can use in my mixed media adventures.

Take Washi tape. A scrapbook staple, adding texture, color and interest to any layout. For me it’s wallpaper, tape, a way to turn plain cardstock interesting, and so much more. I have a Washi tape addiction … it is genetically impossible for me to pass up a cool roll of Washi tape. Before you ask, yes, all Washi tape is cool! Is there a Washi tape 12-step program? Truth be told, I probably need that.

Washi tape is just the tip of the iceberg (the Titanic-sinking sized iceberg). There are Wink of Stella pens, Copic markers, Distress stains/paints/inks/markers/embossing powders, Colorbloom sprays, stencils, and Ideology findings (mirrored stars, metal numbers, ribbon slides, and more).

I could go on for days … I have a studio to prove that. Bottom line: scrapbookers have the best goodies.

I love the creative journey and the fact that when I step into the studio I never know what is going to happen. I don’t step into the studio as often as I would like but after my move to Bellevue is complete, I hope to settle into a better routine in my creative space.

What “rolls your socks up”? If you can’t answer, I say it’s high time you figure it out! Get in touch with what gives you joy and energy and try to “get in your creative space” as often as you can!

Here are a few of my favorite spots for inspiration…

A few shopping crafty staples…

And finally, since shopping locally is important:

Unpacking “The Shack” (part 1)

Anyone who knows me knows I can be stubborn (insert corny joke here and have a wee laugh on me) it’s just one of the ABC’s of me. My best friend, Dylan (remember, names are changed to protect the guilty) knows this better than anyone – having known me and been a part of every happening in my life over the past 25 years. Thankfully, she loves me in spite of this shortcoming.

Several years ago, after she read it herself, my best friend gave me a copy of The Shack by Wm Paul Young. She had been energized and encouraged by the book and honestly thought I would be too. Enter the stubborn me.

Periodically, more frequently at first, but then finally tapering off to an once-yearly query, she would ask, “Have you started The Shack yet?” and each time I would reply, “No”. Even though I could tell it upset her, I couldn’t bring myself to read it. Honestly, I can’t even tell you why. It was nothing like the time I didn’t want to watch Lost because I had been told it was a reality show. To this day I cannot tell you why I was being so stubborn about reading this book.

Dylan hasn’t asked me if I’ve started The Shack in well over a year and the last time she did ask, her query was one of resignation, “Are you ever gonna read The Shack?” Looking back I know she believed in her heart that I would never read it. Never is a dangerous word.

I’ve been “church shopping” (I dislike the term, but I don’t know what else to call it) for about a year now and recently have been attending Eastlake Community Church (ECC). I was on their site and noticed that “Growth Groups” were getting ready to start up again so I decided to see if there was a growth group that might fit me. I found only one, titled simply, “Unpack the Shack”. I was excited … but I didn’t tell Dylan (I think I worried about getting her hopes up or perhaps I was just embarrassed that it had taken me so long to do what she asked).

What happened next felt like something out of Titanic or some other disaster movie. The group was set to meet each Tuesday starting on February 25th. On that first Tuesday my life (at least marginally) became a complete and utter mess:

  • Week one: terrible cold
  • Week two: best friend bad news
  • Week three: work offsite retreat
  • Week four: trip to urgent care

I felt okay missing week one, after all I had a fever – no one would have wanted me there. Week two, there was nothing for it, your best friend needs you, you go. Period. By the time I realized I was also going to miss week three, I was feeling like a loser fraud but even that embarrassment paled in comparison to sending an email to the group leader at 6:30p on week four telling him I was at urgent care, I felt so low and fully expected to be told, “We would rather you just not come since you’ve missed so much.” I had also begun to wonder if God was trying to tell me something.

To my relief, the leader was extremely gracious, telling me that he hoped I would be able to make it the next week. As far as the “signs” I decided they weren’t coming from God but, I will admit, as Tuesday approached I began to wonder if something would suddenly appear and keep me from going.

Tuesday night came and, to my great relief, I made it to group. I was welcomed warmly by the other members, who smiled and joked calling me “the fictitious lady”. I had a wonderful time. Up to this point, I’d been reading the chapters, but missing the opportunity to discuss them with the group.

I am excited, energized, and looking forward to the upcoming weeks. In a wee bit of irony, the group has decided to take the next two weeks off (due to travel schedules and spring break). I’m sad to lose this new momentum, but looking forward to renewed conversations about the book with this amazing group of people.

In “part 2” I’ll actually share my thoughts on the book. I will confess that I’ve cried a fair amount while reading it and I suspect more tears will fall before I’m done. Anyone who knows me, knows that I cry at sad books and movies…